Non-icky Marketing & Sales 101: How to de-ick-ify selling
I recently chatted a fellow entrepreneur who said he wants to help people sell. He pointed out there is an “ick factor that prevents [so many entrepreneurs] from doing the things they need to sell.” I know the feeling all too well.
This conversation led to some common questions that come up among business owners:
“Why does advocating for my own business feel so wrong?”
“How can I get out of this headspace where sales is a dirty word?”
“What steps might help me reframe how I think about sales and marketing?”
There’s a lot to unpack here, but I’m inspired to write this blog post to start with the basics.
We know in concept that money is not evil. And we know it is a tool for creating change and exchanging value. We see the value our product or service provides. But sales can still feel so icky. Why?
Historically, “sales” is associated with the stereotype of the “sales guy”. You know the one that makes your skin crawl. They are aggressive, manipulative, sneaky, and deceitful. Someone hard to trust because they have a secret agenda. The sleazy con trying to take your money…no wonder “sales” feels like a dirty word.
We who run social impact-driven businesses don’t want to be associated with that kind of oppressive marketing and extraction. It goes against our values. It doesn’t feel good to be on either end of that relationship or interaction. So what’s the alternative?
I’m here to challenge the traditional messages we’ve learned about sales that make it feel so icky and how to reframe marketing and selling that can feel good to both you and your the people you are trying to help, your ideal customers/clients.
#1 Manipulation and extraction are necessary evils. I need to bamboozle and deceive people in order to sell.
Sales are built on relationships of trust, respect, and in the best cases mutual benefit. No trickery needed or power-oppressing tricks necessary. In fact, you want to empower people. Lifting them up and inspiring a vision for a better future is going to go so much farther than stoking the fire of someone’s pain, putting them down, and making them feel shame. The sales process should not be causing people harm. It’s about doing the opposite: what do you want your people to get out of their interactions with you and your business? Delight, inspiration, support, humility, confidence? You name it and embody that.
#2 My Imposter syndrome makes me ask “who would ever pay me money for this?”
This is your inner bullies convincing you you aren’t good enough which is a big ole lie. The truth is you have a solution to someone’s problem or a good/service that will delight people. If you are keeping that gift from the world, then you’ll never find out the impact it will have because your inner bully got the best of you. Don’t let your inner bully lead the show.
#3 I’m too shy to ask people for money/make people offers.
You are not asking people for money. You are offering them an opportunity. You are making initiations which people have their own agency to say yes or no. Imagine you are inviting people to a study group. Some people are going to be like YES I NEED THAT and others are going to be No thanks, I rather study on my own. That’s their choice and it’s not personal. Assume that everyone is grateful to be asked...with one caveat…
#4 I feel like the only way to do sales is to spam people.
Spam in non-consensual. That’s why it feels predatory. That said, consent is key. If someone follows you on social media or have signed up for your email list, they have given consent for you to hear from you. They can leave your list or unfollow at anytime. And the the outreach doesn’t have to be aggressive. You are building a relationship with these people. This isn’t like Marriage at First Sight. Just like you don’t realistically go from acquaintances to marriage in non-reality show world, sales is an exchange in trust and those relationships build over time.
#5 I have to perform for people and that’s exhausting.
Pretending to be perfect or someone you are not is exhausting. So don’t pretend. Here’s your permission slip to be a human. Sales is not a performance. It’s a collaboration. It’s a co-creation. It’s about getting to know the person and the challenges they face so that you can offer them a solution to their problem AND speak their language so it’s clear what you offer. It actually takes a lot of the guessing and assumptions out of it which will make your job so much easier. And being real about what you offer and what you don’t will make people appreciate and trust you even more. Transparency is your friend. Plus you don’t want to put on an act and then be expected to be acting all the time with that client or customer. Talk about exhausting! Be real and you will find your people.
#6 There is a right way to do sales and I don’t have the secret sauce or know how to play the game.
Everyone who has ever learned to sell has started somewhere. Those who are good at it have refined the process so that it works for them. Not everyone’s advice is going to work for you and your business. There is lots of advice out there on how to sell, create complicated sales funnels, marketing campaign planning…just start simple. Remember you don’t need to do it like everyone else. You can do sales in a way that works for you, your unique style, energy, and what makes it fun for you. If it’s fun for you and delivers what the client or customer needs to make an informed decision, then it’ll probably be an enjoyable process for them too.
#7 The anticipation of rejection outweighs the pain of not knowing how it will turn out.
You may regret never starting, never making the ask. You can think of every post, message, conversation as a data point in your research - research that will help you figure out what works for you, what doesn’t. What feels good, what doesn’t. Everything you do in marketing and sales can be an experiment. We are forever students in our own business. This removes the weight that everything needs to be perfect, figured out, and polished from the start. Try, learn, and find what works for you. Polish and pivot as you go. Just start and see where it goes. It gets easier from there!
Tips for Excavating the Selling B.S.
Write down a list of the things your inner bully is telling you about why you aren’t good enough to sell. Then respond to each thing answering the questions: Where does this come from? What’s the truth? What would I say to a friend who was experiencing this feeling? What would my loving friend say to me right now?” Sometimes physically writing this out and seeing it on paper can help you better internalize it.
Make a list of all the things you think you “Should” be doing for sales and marketing. Ignore this list. Ignore it completely.
Make a list of all the things you “Want” to do to get the word out about your offer. How do you best connect with people? What would you be energized to try out? What would help your ideal clients and customers find you and experience the magic of what you have to offer?
If you need more help, work with a business coach who can help you figure out what marketing and sales strategy is going to light you up and work for you and your unique business.
Want to explore coaching together?
Book an exploratory session with me and let’s get to know each other.
