Before I do anything spectacular, I fall apart. Here’s why.
Before I do anything remotely impressive, like really perform, A+, top-notch kind of thing, something always happens to me.
I fall apart. I get mopey. I sulk. I am in angst, questioning whether I can do ANYTHING and discrediting any other accomplishment I have made up until that point. Brain drama, for real.
Every math test I ever took in school? No studying session was complete without some amount of fretting…I did well in math!
In my first 5k race, I freaked out in the car ride overthinking it…and then smashed it.
Anyone who’s worked with me on Career Support Care Packages these last few months has witnessed or heard about my crying over one thing or another…Then I figure out a way to make it happen, and it’s magical. Bam!
Once I realized this, at first I thought, “if only I could skip the feelings and get right to the being awesome part, that would be great.” But now I wonder if this is part of my creative and problem-solving process. My body needs to process the emotions and fear and heartbreak of possibilities unknown before I can see something with clarity, before the “I have an idea!” moment.
And that’s been true for any career identity crisis I’ve ever experienced too.
So the first thing I work on with clients: clear the fog that’s making it hard to see the path.
Where does the fog come from? Learned expectations, BS standards, fears of how others will perceive our actions that turn into self-limiting beliefs. It’s nearly impossible to be in an imaginative, visionary space when your brain drama is being fed by all these messages that confine you to a box you weren’t meant to fit into. You are your own unique shape and those confines are complete and utter BS.
As I get older and become more self-aware, the time it takes to feel feelings before accomplishing something spectacular is getting shorter. But I can also admire that my body needs this with a sense of wonder and intrigue rather than shame and self-judgment.
First, let’s have a good solid crying session, then we’ll embrace and admire our sensitivities with wonder and self-compassion. 💜
P.S. Are you looking for a way to navigate career transitions with intention that honors your sensitivities rather than suppresses them? Let’s chat about coaching together.
