What I learned from leaving my first full-time job after 4 months

Around this time 11 years ago, I left my first full-time job after only 4 months.

Lauren in her undergraduate graduation cap and gown in 2013.

It was a terrible fit. I was doing work that didn't play at all to my strengths. The job did the opposite, calling attention to all of my limitations and leaving me panicked, exhausted, and feeling sorry for myself everyday.
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A part of me may always cringe a little bit when I think about it, but I can look back now and see all the red flags: I wasn't even that excited to get the offer. I was so desperate to take the first full-time offer I got, it didn't matter that I was only getting paid 11 dollars per hour before taxes and trying to live in Boston (silly to think about now). I was so confident in my adaptability and hoped I could shape it into something that could work for me, but I quickly realized the confinements and rigidity of the job; there was little room for creativity. And I also soon learned that the industry was not of any interest to me.
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I remember going to a networking event so I could start looking for a better fitting role. I stood with two strangers and one asked me what I do for work. As I started speaking, I stopped mid-sentence, my head and shoulders dropped, my throat tightened, and instead what came out was something like "I don't have it in me to talk about it."

In that moment, I deflated. But I said the thing I had been avoiding saying out loud. For the first time, I admitted I needed to find a new role, in my field of interest rather than the one I was in. The two strangers were so supportive. "What do you want to do instead?" I re-inflated talking about the impact I wanted to make and the role I wanted to play in it.
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A few weeks later, I started a new role I was thrilled about: an internship, but one that got me on the path I wanted to be on in my career.
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Looking back, I'm proud of myself for leaving after only 4 months knowing it wasn't good for my health. What I was ashamed to admit felt really darn freeing to say out loud. And that experience helped me refine my discernment skills and recognize (and not ignore) red flags from my intuition about opportunities.
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Trust yourself 💗

Cheering you on,

Lauren
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P.S. If you’re an undergraduate student interested in an impact career, but uncertain about your future, join Lisa Nicolaison of Green LMN and I for the upcoming online event, Starting Your Impact Career: From Uncertain to Future-Proof.

We will share valuable insights and support in finding a direction and future-proofing your career. You'll gain tools to overcome uncertainty, build your skills and connections, and find hope for the future.

​Register today (space is limited!)