Choking back tears, telling my life story in 6 minutes
This week, I checked something off my bucket list.
I live in Providence, RI where there is a monthly event called PechaKucha Night. Originating in Japan, it's an adult show-and-tell using 20 powerpoint slides x 20 seconds each. I knew since attending my first PechaKucha Night years ago I wanted to do one. So a few months ago, I got inspired and signed my ass up to present!
I wanted to talk about a sense of belonging. Belonging felt so elusive to me for so much of my life. And I think that's very relatable. But when I sat down to work on my presentation, I was stuck and a bit frazzled. I didn't know HOW I wanted to present this. Maybe like an academic presentation? Maybe like a mini TED Talk? Maybe like a first-person story? No, no, none of these felt right. So I got up to get a snack while I procrastinated some more...
As I searched for a snack, what I really needed, an idea, hit me:
What if I made it a letter to my 8-year-old self?
I got the choking feeling in my throat. Tears found their way out of my eyeballs. I had such a strong visceral reaction, I knew that was it. YEP, I had to do it.
I'm proud of myself. The writing came pouring out of me, accompanied by some tears, and some healing I think I needed. I was vulnerable and the talk was very me.
It ended up being a way for me to share a lot of my life story in 6 and a half minutes. As someone pretty long-winded, I'm impressed! LOL
It was also a way for me to share WHY I do what I do. How I ended up here as a coach, doing this care work.
And I am delighted to share it with you! Watch it here or read the transcript below.
Hope this gives you the courage you need to do the thing - whatever that scary thing is for you.
Transcript:
Dear 8-Year-Old Lauren,
This love letter and scrapbook is to comfort and reassure you of how a few things turn out. I know everything feels hard right now. Especially school. You just got diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia, and your anxiety has you in a chokehold.
But it won’t feel like you’re carrying heavy rocks in your backpack forever. You’ll graduate high school with honors because you worked your butt off, probably too hard. You’ll even write your college essay about overcoming challenges in school with disabilities.
You are NOT broken. You ARE smart. You’ll realize mainstream school was not designed well for people with disabilities. But you learn to advocate for yourself. And you’ll help others advocate for themselves in the future too. More on that later.
I know you feel left out and missing a sense of belonging. You don’t have friends who get you and see your magic right now. Just like Mom said “You’ll find your people.” And you have. And continue to. When you aren’t distancing yourself for protection, you are naturally patient, welcoming, open-minded, and thoughtful.
In fact, you pretty much consider everyone you meet your friend. It’s those times of being left out that show you how NOT to treat people. Your friends now see how brilliant, hilarious, and lovable you are. I know you don’t feel that way now but you’ll grow to believe it too.
Speaking of finding your people, at 16 you’re going to make a special friend. You’ll be at Panera. Before you order a Chicken Caesar sandwich with no onions, you’ll experience love-at-first-sight. With a apron over his collared shirt, an adorable smile, and dirty blonde curls under his work visor, looking like your dream skater boy. Avril Lavigne will teach you what that means in a few years.
You won’t even want the sandwich anymore. You’ll start flirting. You’ll get his AIM screen name. The next time you see him, you’ll slide your receipt across the counter with your number on it.
At 17, you’ll discover your hearing loss and get your first pair of hearing aids. You’ll worry what Panera Boy, now boyfriend, might think. He won’t think twice about it. And luckily, he’s not soft-spoken. You’ll come to take pride in your hearing aids and your deaf identity.
10 years later you’ll get married. The most important thing you’ll learn from Dan is what it's like to be loved and supported for who are you, as you are, and it transforms how you see yourself.
I know you plan to be the next Mia Hamm soccer star. You are a very competitive and talented athlete. You will find success in high school and college sports, but you’ll step away from sports for a few years. I know that seems unimaginable as a sporty tomboy, but you’ll find you have a lot of other talents, too.
Even though you don’t become the next Mia Hamm, I’m happy to report you still play soccer. You helped your co-ed team win their championship game this past Thursday. You’ll have a blast and you’ll come to care more about that than winning. You’ll realize you have nothing to prove and never needed to earn people’s love.
Your career is going to be a wild ride. You’ll struggle to find work after college because entry level jobs still somehow require years of experience. But you’ll end up in a bunch of different roles, building your skills, and doing work that energizes you and makes the world a better place.
You’ll work towards environmental sustainability, social impact, improving employee experience and company culture. More than once, your job will disappear overnight due to company changes and it’s going to feel like an identity crisis. You learned to believe so much of your identity was what you do for work, but that’s not your fault.
We live in a culture where people engrain that into you, even from a young age, asking what you want to be when you grow up. During these times in between jobs, you’ll discover who you are beyond how you make money. It’ll be uncomfortable, but it’ll be like the internal system update you needed.
I know you want to be an inventor when you grow up. You’re creative and built some amazing invention prototypes out of popsicle sticks, glue, and pipe cleaners in your parents’ basement. At 30, you’ll end up starting a business coaching people who feel stuck, left out, or struggling with their own career identity crises. Many of them also neurodivergent like you!
You’ll help them see how incredible and badass they are, as they are. You’ll help them find a way forward in making the impact they want to make in the world.
You will also create a digital care package people can send to their friends and loved ones who are experiencing career challenges. It’ll bring those people relief, delight, and tools to help them navigating their challenge. It’s exactly what the world needs right now.
People gravitate to you because you’re authentic and you understand what it’s like feeling like you never fit into a box. You’re right, you don’t fit into someone else’s box, someone else’s standards.
You were always meant to be a Koosh ball: colorful, flexible, helping people through tough moments, and a little silly and delightful. You’ve come to embrace being in between the boxes. And one day, you’ll get on stage in hopes of inspiring other people to embrace that too.
Love,
Lauren of 2025
P.S. Moving to Providence will be the best decision you ever made. You’re gonna love it!
