Doing your best vs. needing to be the best

"It's lonely at the top."

You've probably heard that before too.

I had, but it didn't mean a whole lot to me until I was in high school.

At 16, I was at my peak up-tightness. Anxiety had a chokehold on me. And I couldn't understand why it felt like all my social relationships were suffering.

My needing to be the BEST at sports, school, how I presented myself, and everything I did...it was suffocating me.

But I didn't realize it was suffocating for everyone around me too.

My therapist gave me a serious realty check. "It's lonely at the top, isn't it?" I finally understood these words on a much deeper level.

This was pivotal. I feel like from that moment forward, I started to slowly (like over a few YEARS really) but progressively unwind.

Those who know me now would probably not describe my as "uptight", but rather that I care DEEPLY. I pour my heart and soul into things and people and conversations, but with a totally different energy than I did when I was 16.

There is a difference between putting effort in to DO YOUR BEST vs. thinking it’s only about BEING THE BEST.

This is the difference between practicing #kindcareerism vs the #toxicprofessionalism we've been taught.

"I want to connect with you" vs. "I need to IMPRESS you"

"We can be collaborators" vs. "You are my competitor"

"This conversation/experience/job will be an opportunity to learn and grow" vs. "This will put me ahead of my peers"

We can focus on playing the game the best we can vs. winning the game at any cost.

Because the cost (your people, your physical health, your mental health) could be greater than the reward. When we focus on trying our best rather than bulldozing people out of our way, we'll find that more people WANT to see and help us succeed.

And then when we do, our army of supporters will be celebrating WITH us.

It's not lonely at the top with Kind Careerism.

👥🏔👥

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