From judging harshly to creating a judgment-free zone for others

One thing I’m proud to see over and over again in my testimonials is that clients feel they can be themselves and speak freely in a judgment-free zone with me in our sessions.

I'm proud because that wasn’t always how I made people feel. That was something I learned the hard way.

If you knew me in grade school, or early in my career, I was known for making people feel the opposite. Not a bully, but I was a snob - I just didn’t know it until I had a therapist point it out to me, for which I'm grateful. I was judging everyone and everything so harshly. It was an huge energy-suck.

I realize now looking back: I was my most judgemental when I was most insecure.

Our judgement reveals what we are insecure about and what our needs are.
The more I perceived I was being judged the more it reflected in my behavior, energy, and how I spoke. I wasn’t comfortable enough to be me. I was being who I thought I needed to be to protect myself, prove myself, and be as perfect as possible.

Turns out that’s not the way to people’s hearts! I was constantly lacking a sense of belonging. I also didn’t really know who I was beyond the intense judgement. I couldn’t understand why I felt so different, so misunderstood by others when I was doing everything I thought I was supposed to be doing.

In general, once I learned what self-compassion looks like for me, being compassionate towards others just made way more sense - it was easy.

I’m the most me I’ve ever been, and that's an invitation to others to be themselves too 💜

I still catch myself in moments where I assume judgement because I’m insecure about not being “good enough.” But now I’m able to recognize it, choose to shift, and continue to learn ways to not let other people’s potential opinions weigh me down or keep me from being me.

And can proudly say I create judgement-free environment for my clients to be themselves.

Lauren sitting on a couch looking into a camera laughing, with her arms resting on her knees. She’s wearing glasses, purple blazer, large pink earrings, jeans and colorful sneakers. She’s sitting on a dark blue couch in front of a dark blue wall.